Hey there, Oxdarock here!
Everyone’s doing these end of 2023 reflections, so I felt I should do the same! In a nutshell, this was certainly a year of progression for me that went well, but could have easily gone terribly bad. First and foremost, I got my own apartment! That may not seem like a bit deal to some people, but for the past five years, past decade even, it’s been a source of great anxiety for me, as I’ve never been able to achieve what I consider a livable income, which is the amount needed to comfortable meet the requirements to rent out a single bedroom apartment, which for my area, is typically around $3000-$3600 (roughly three times the monthly rent for most apartments). Even now, I’m still not able to meet that amount comfortably, but I managed to have enough money flowing into my bank account in that short time period to use as sufficient proof of income, so I lucked out.
That said, the timetable was completely out of my hands, was moved up much faster than I expected, and made me feel… kinda betrayed. On one hand, the desperation lit a fire under my butt to work much harder, forgoing a normal sleep schedule, which allowed me to be much more productive. More importantly, it and prompted me to ask my community for support via the Squish Drive projects, which were instrumental in whole process. I also kind of won the coin flip on available apartments and where I ended up. It’s not the most luxurious place, far from it for most people, but it has everything I care about, the neighborhood is safe, and all of my needs are within walking distance. However, on the other hand, the fact the timetable was moved up so suddenly could have left me in a very unfavorable position. There’s very much a universe where things went completely horrible and I would have been in a very miserable situation. That’s true for every choice in life we make and I’m fortunate it didn’t happen, but the thought that it could have leaves me with mixed emotions.
Anyway, let’s go back to the Squish Drives. I can’t stress enough how surprised I was by how well they went. Truth be told, I’ve always felt that a lot of the support I receive is largely transactional. I make things people want to see and they send money my way to see it, , maybe even have a bigger part in my decision making, simple as that. So the thought that so many people would want to support an idea of mine directly and financially is pretty surprising, though not unheard of since that’s how I got my start over a decade ago by a close friend of mine. Now that I charge hourly, I’m much more content with taking commissions (even though I lament my long drawing time), but I’m exceedingly happy when it comes to Squish Drives, to the point that I’ve come up with a few ideas for projects. I’ll need to space them out and some might not go as well as others, but I hope this’ll be something I can really enjoy as I work my way towards paying off my credit card debt.
Unfortunately, this made me look back at the monthly Patron Picks and realize how dissatisfied I am with them. It’s been a decent source of consistency over the past five years, but not only does it feel like chore to drop my commission and Squish Drive work to take care of it, I’m simply unable to be unbiased when holding voting polls to decide what I draw, given that I like drawing ideas and characters that are more niche and not what a lot of people like. Those who’ve supported me a long time will have seen the signs, but yeah, it’s time to give up the goat. I’d rather choose ideas personally and have people upset over me for it than feel the hopelessness of a voting poll along with everyone else, especially when you consider how much time I spend on my work.
In it’s place, I’d like to go back to the Lusty Lamp, as that’s what I’m most passionate about. I’ve talked about this over the month, but I really want to get the ball rolling and develop the world in its entirety so I can draw more things within it. I mean, hell, quite a few Patron Pick pictures and even the Squish Drives take place within the Resort, so it’s something that’s clearly been on my mind. Even if it doesn’t earn me more money directly, it’s something that’ll allow me more fulfillment in my work, and is also something I believe people will enjoy formulating ideas around.
Lastly, there’s my Japanse language process. It’s… definitely a side hobby. I’ve been posting things on my Pixiv Fanbox for about a year now, but it hasn’t really gained any traction. I know I don’t give it as much advertisement as my Patreon, but quite frankly, acquiring my works via Patreon and the OxShop is better for English speakers, as everything on my Fanbox is in JP. My point is, I’ve had no luck reaching out to a JP fanbase and I have absolutely no idea why. Not only that, but I’ve made zero progress with Kanji. It’s… such a mountain to overcome. The language system and sentence structure makes perfect sense, but the writing system is so unfriendly to foreign speakers, you’d think they made it that way on purpose. Much as I’d like to devote more time to it, I’m having trouble finding time to do so. It’s simply one of those things that’s hard to quantify your progress. Still, it’s something I really want to become proficient in, so I really need to make time for it. Just gotta clench my butt and tackle it head on, I guess.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the year. 2024 is definitely gonna be a busy one, but for now, I’m gonna chill for the next day or two. Happy New Year everybody!!!
